Who am I?

On the one hand I am a very serious individual out to grow and learn as much of this world as I can...yet at the same time I find the time to play around, to enjoy and have fun...to laugh...and to smile.

But below the happy facade, am I really happy? Do I even know myself? I guess the answer to the first query would have to be a slightly less than emphatic yes. Yes, I am happy. I am happy that I have such wondrous and loyal friends whom I share most of my time and experiences with. I am delighted that I belong to a great school in which I have the opportunites to grow and to learn. I am ecstatic that I am able to partake of so many of this world's offerings, particularly culturally through film, television, writings, and interactive entertainment.

But before I delve into that side of me let me answer the second question. Yes, I know myself. I am a man of vision, of character, and most of all, I can confidently say that I am a man of God.

God. It's not a word very popular with today's generation - a generation which destroys moral limits and social traditions. So in this sense, I am a rebel. I am the unorthodox. I am not of the norm because I choose to live a part of my life in the past - the past wherein religion mattered, where limits abound. That part of me is my heart. My heart stays true with the conviction to limit my mind and follow with great obedience the Word of the Lord. But my mind is progressive, it continues to explore and discover. But is this not contradictory?

Not. For I am a conservative-progressive. I am conservative with my morals, progressive in my thinking. What falls into which is entirely up to me to decide.

But going back to the question of whether I am really happy or not, then I'd have to assert again that I am indeed happy. After all, with so many of the world's populace living in poverty, I'd have to be very insensitive to take such great pity upon myself.

That is not to say that I feel no pain nor sadness. When the day passes and the sounds of technology no longer occupy my being, I am left alone with only a pillow to hug. Ah...but yes, it is indeed that dilemma. So, in this context, I am normal after all.

That which I want, is that which I lack. That which I hope for, is that which eludes my grasp.

So I wait...in futility...in vain...but I'll wait smiling...